You know what? These days, them young folks, they all about them Elf Bar things. Like a cigarette, but not really. My grandson, he always got one in his hand. Says it helps him “chill” or something. I don’t know about all that, but I do know they come in a whole bunch of flavors. They call it “Elf Bar Ice Flavors.” Fancy name, right? Like some kinda ice fairy made it, heh.
They all got them fruity flavors. My grandson, he likes the one that tastes like watermelon. Smells just like a watermelon, too. Like a summer day, that smell is. But, I tell ya, this “ice” thing they talk about, it’s like a cold blast. Like when you open the freezer door in the summer. It will give you the shivers. They are the best elf bar flavors.
I seen a bunch of these Elf Bar flavors. They got all kinds. Not just fruits, neither. There’s one that’s supposed to taste like… like that soda pop. You know, the one that gives you a kick, makes you all jumpy? They call it “Energy Drink” or “ElfTurbo Ice”. What a name! It’s got that sweet taste, like the soda, but then it’s got that cold, icy feeling. Like you’re drinking ice. I took a puff of it once, nearly froze my teeth off! That’s the Elf Bar Energy Drink Ice flavor. I don’t see how these young’uns like it, but they do.
- Watermelon Ice
- Strawberry Ice
- Mango Ice
- Blueberry Ice
- Grape Ice
- Energy Drink Ice (or ElfTurbo Ice)
They call these the “Top 10” or something. Like it’s a contest. I think the top 10 elf bar flavors of 2024 will have more ice. I don’t know why they need a contest for these things. Just pick one you like and that’s it. It’s not that difficult, you know? They are the top elf bar flavors, I guess.
They even got a name for the company that makes ’em. It’s called… iMiracle, I think. Sounds like a magic trick to me. And they say they ain’t calling them Elf Bars in America no more. Some kinda trouble with the name. These companies, always something going on with ’em. But the kids, they still buying them, whatever they called. They like that ice, I guess. It’s all about that Elf Bar Ice Flavors, I tell ya.
This one time, I saw my grandson with a new one. It was blue, like the sky on a clear day. He said it was “Blueberry Ice.” Smelled like them blueberry muffins I used to make, only cold. Strange, right? Food that’s supposed to be warm, but they make it cold. These new generations, I tell ya, they got some strange ideas.
And there’s another one, pink like a flamingo. “Strawberry Ice,” they call it. Like them little strawberry candies, but with that icy kick. I don’t know why they gotta make everything so cold. A good strawberry is good on its own. But these kids, they like the cold, I guess. It is one of the best elf bar flavors.
They got a yellow one, too. “Mango Ice.” I ain’t never had a mango, but I heard they’re sweet. Like a peach, but different. So, they made a cold, icy version of that, too. Seems like they can make anything into one of these Elf Bar Ice Flavors. Just add some ice, I suppose.
Then there’s the “Grape Ice.” Purple, like them grapes you see in the store. I like grapes. They’re good for you. But this one, it’s like a cold grape. Like you put your grapes in the freezer. I don’t know why you’d do that, but that’s what it tastes like. Cold grapes.
I asked my grandson, “Why do you like these Elf Bar Ice Flavors so much?” He just shrugged and said, “They’re cool, Grandma.” Cool. Get it? Like ice. These kids and their jokes. I guess it’s just something they like. Like how I like my coffee in the morning. It’s just their thing. These are the best Elf Bar Flavors.
But I still don’t understand why they gotta be so cold. Maybe it’s ’cause they’re young. They got that fire in ’em, and the ice cools ’em down. Or maybe it’s just a fad. Like them hula hoops we had when I was a girl. Everybody wanted one, then nobody did. Maybe these Elf Bar Ice Flavors will be the same. Who knows?
All I know is, they’re everywhere. All the kids got ’em. And they all talk about that ice. “It’s so icy, Grandma,” they say. “You gotta try it.” I tried it once. That Energy Drink one. Nearly froze my tongue off. I’ll stick to my coffee, thank you very much. But if you like that cold feeling, then maybe these Elf Bar Ice Flavors are for you. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you about that icy blast!
